Sunday, March 8, 2009

An Open Letter (or several)

Dear Wind:

Please stop.  The power flickering on and off keeps resetting the modem and wireless router, which means I keep getting kicked off line.  In case you didn't know, about 90% of my homework has to be done online.  YOU ARE NOT HELPING.

No love,

Dear Schrodie:

When I try to play with you, it is because I know you get bored and need something to do.  Do not sit there and stare blindly at the lazer dot on the floor - chase the damn thing.  You are more than willing to run around like an idiot when I'm trying to sleep, so when I'm playing with you would be a great time to run around as well.  Also?  GET OFF and STAY OFF the kitchen counters.  And I will be happy to keep throwing the toy so long as you bring it back.  If you want to play fetch, then follow the rules.

Frustrated, but also somewhat amused,
the person who feeds you

Dear laundry:

If you could some how find your own way to the washer and dryer and return clean and at least mostly dry, I will be more than happy to fold you and put you away safely.

the person who is considering going shopping rather than doing laundry

Dear professors:

Yes, we all love stories.  But if you are going to require us to travel to campus (some of my classmates traveled from places such as South Carolina or Rhode Island), then maybe you could try TEACHING  us something at 8am on a Saturday morning?  If I wanted story time, I could go to the local library.

Also?  We are library students.  I really hope that we do not need to be shown how to search a database.  And if we do?  That should not take up 45 minutes of class time.  If you really feel that we will need those sorts of skills for this class - and I admit that we do - require students to complete 504 - Intro to Reference before taking your class.

with no thanks for wasting an entire Saturday,
a student

Dear vacuum cleaner:

I am very happy that you are feeling better again, in time for our weekly session.  But, do you think you can manage to make it through the entire session?  If not, please let me know so I can make sure to prioritize.

thanks in advance,
the clean freak

Dear Spring Break:

Please hurry up and get here.  Not only will I then be about half way through the semester, I will have completed a number of assignments and, in theory, my work load will be reduced but for three final projects.  I can handle three final projects.  (oh, and a few papers, but whatever.  3-5 page papers on romance novels and mystery novels will be easy.)

Also, I am greatly looking forward to you, Spring Break, and mentally need the time off.  There are also certain plans that I am REALLY excited about, and they all seem to involve Philly.  And a certain person.

waiting not-so-very-politely,

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